I can be spontaneous…..it just takes awhile.


This is mostly a rebuttal to yesterdays post about indecision. I have done things, Life things, with little time for consideration. Some of these things were great! Some if them turned out not so well. Regardless they bring me to my life an it is now.
When I was in college I went to visit my mom and brother. This seems innocent enough. They were at the time working in the carnival. My brother still does. I found it to few a silly amount of fun! So I went home after for about a week to deal with things. Then I set out and joined the carnival!!!! That, to date, was the most fun summer I have ever had. Always something to do. Basicly I insulted people and they have me money. It was one of the coolest things I have done. Travel, money, new interesting people all the time. Adventure awaited at every new place. Now, I take showers and have my teeth and have what most call an honest face so I was a bit different from the average “carnival barker.” And I kind of stuck out like a sore thumb. But that was part of the fun.
This experience caused me to reconsider my stance on being spontaneous. After life on the road that summer I ended up living in florida for a few years. When my sister asked me to move to california…. I said “ok!”
This stands as one of the worst decisions I have ever made. I, full of excitement and wonderment, flew out with basicly only what I could carry. To start a new chapter in life with family and california sunshine. Only to find that my sister had hidden her meth addiction from me.
As you know kids, meth’s side affects are never sleeping, never eating, and wildly irrational paranoia. This all add up to about three months of Hell. I ended up with way less than I started with. Literally, my sister kept taking my things braking them and I don’t know what.
Anyway, I’m here in cali now. And I have been for three years in january. My grandma took me in. and I have grown to love this beautiful place. Now sometimes I miss home. And I love to go back on vacation. I want to travel more and do things and I know if I go back I will never leave.
I know what I need to work out is being spontaneous with out being tempestuous. Good luck with that……
-Cindy

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About cindyh85

It's complicated..... You better read up...

Posted on October 12, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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