I can be spontaneous…..it just takes awhile.

This is mostly a rebuttal to yesterdays post about indecision. I have done things, Life things, with little time for consideration. Some of these things were great! Some if them turned out not so well. Regardless they bring me to my life an it is now.
When I was in college I went to visit my mom and brother. This seems innocent enough. They were at the time working in the carnival. My brother still does. I found it to few a silly amount of fun! So I went home after for about a week to deal with things. Then I set out and joined the carnival!!!! That, to date, was the most fun summer I have ever had. Always something to do. Basicly I insulted people and they have me money. It was one of the coolest things I have done. Travel, money, new interesting people all the time. Adventure awaited at every new place. Now, I take showers and have my teeth and have what most call an honest face so I was a bit different from the average “carnival barker.” And I kind of stuck out like a sore thumb. But that was part of the fun.
This experience caused me to reconsider my stance on being spontaneous. After life on the road that summer I ended up living in florida for a few years. When my sister asked me to move to california…. I said “ok!”
This stands as one of the worst decisions I have ever made. I, full of excitement and wonderment, flew out with basicly only what I could carry. To start a new chapter in life with family and california sunshine. Only to find that my sister had hidden her meth addiction from me.
As you know kids, meth’s side affects are never sleeping, never eating, and wildly irrational paranoia. This all add up to about three months of Hell. I ended up with way less than I started with. Literally, my sister kept taking my things braking them and I don’t know what.
Anyway, I’m here in cali now. And I have been for three years in january. My grandma took me in. and I have grown to love this beautiful place. Now sometimes I miss home. And I love to go back on vacation. I want to travel more and do things and I know if I go back I will never leave.
I know what I need to work out is being spontaneous with out being tempestuous. Good luck with that……


I can’t decided if I’m indecisive or not…

    I have come to realize that when faced with decisions I have a hard time making a choice. I just always want to consider all the possible options. For example last year I bought a coat. I tried on every coat in the store! And ended up buying the very first coat I tried.
    I know that some people are very decisive, and know with in seconds if something is for them. The irony is that this is what I do for a living: help people decide quickly what they want.  Often I know what the customer will choose before they do.
    The real problem comes when it is small things like what I want at a restaurant or which color to paint my nails. But real life decisions can take months to act on. This has caused problems in the past.
     The Robert Frost poem comes to mind: “The Road not Taken” Which is often referred to as “The road less traveled by.” (wrong…)  The author talks about wishing they had taken the other road. Now I have, on a few occasions, wished I had made a different choice in life. However, I know that my life is what makes Me.
     Some might say that making choices with the first answer that comes to mind would be the solution to this problem…. I have tried this too. It only works about 50% of the time. The real struggle is finding a happy medium between these. The struggle that I should really deal with is the questions of: “what if?”
    You can’t always wonder. Maybe just go out and try that other choice!! Add adventure and cure the ills of coulda, shoulda, woulda.
    I have always thought of myself as an optimist! But I realize now that life had made me a pragmatist. That’s the core of my decision making process. Make a choice then be prepared for the worst possible outcome. That way if I’m prepared…. It won’t be so bad. And I can still be happy with the choice.
    At least that’s what I’ve decided for now.

The Groceries are Gone!!!

Make no mistake, I love to shop. I window shop alot. Mostly because I work at the mall and get in lots of mall hours. Even groceries, I don’t mind shopping for… However, I don’t like that soon, Very soon, you have to go back for more. I find this to be very annoying. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fast girl and love to eat food. I love to cook good, smell it. Taste it. EVERYTHING! But I don’t like to havr to make so many trips to the store to pick up the same ol’ things. Maybe that’s what really annoys me about it.
   I have considered not eating. This would solve this problem!! Alas, it only works untill several hours later when: Hmmm, what sounds good? Peanut butter sandwich? Ok. I guess I just don’t have the makings to be one of those “starve myself” kind of people.
   In reality that’s fine by me. I just wish there was some way to not have to go to the store all the time and still have food on hand. Take out is to much money to do all the time especially in my budget.
  Some may say buying in bulk is the solution! But I just can’t bring myself to allocate a large portion of my funds to something I will probably tire of quickly.it will be like a waste if money. That makes me more upset than having to buy groceries every week!
  Maybe I should invent something that generates the food I want with out having to leave the house…. My grandma would say how about a food replicator. And I would remind her this isn’t Startrek….. Silly Grandma!!! :-p 
  So I guess I am stuck with these options untill technology catches up with my demand. Ugh….untill next time

More is less?

I have decided to start a diet. My sister had been doing this diet for a while now and looks great! It is really easy. She says it doesn’t seem like a “diet” I say she is a bit loopy. But that’s ok. Really I’m just a little competetive (a lot you will come to find out) and want to see if I can beat her at this game. 😉 Also, get healthier. I will keep you posted on how it progresses.

For you….

So, I’ve gotten it in my head that I am going to blog. About everything and anything. Just about “life and the universe and everything” I am very exited about it. Just so you know I’m a terible speller, if this bothers you then… Stop reading now. MISTAKES will happen and will insult your obvious superiority. (ugh…) For the rest of you folks please enjoy the silly and interesting and sometimes serious posts. 🙂

Here We Go!

Hello, I’m Cindy. I hope you find my blog interesting. If you have questions or comments let me know. Your input will be helpful.